A Journey through Weight and Thyme

Yes, I paraphrased the Blues Brothers, and I have no shame for it. After not sleeping at all last night, I am entitled to a little humor. I couldn’t get my brain to shut down, maybe because it was still coming to grips with the fact that a 22 oz. porterhouse is 55 weight watchers points. But what does that really mean?

My normal point allotment for a day is 44 points, to cover breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a couple of snacks, so my dinner last night really put a walloping on my points. So much in fact! I didn’t record them, which I really should, because that would deduct from my weekly bank of 35 extra points. But since I hit Hooters on Monday evening, I think I have killed my extra points for the week. I am going to be really good the rest of the week, I promise to myself.

Fixing the bathroom ceiling is going to be a good workout, so that will help burn off some of the steak. My lovely wife, if you are listening, this is a good time to choose a new color for the bathroom. I am going to have to paint the patch anyway, might as well do the whole bathroom.

So what does all this have to do with losing weight? Not much, but like I said, it’s 6:15 AM, it’s dark outside, and I am wearing sunglasses. Have a good day folks

Dictionary.com defines the word as follows:

[Middle English ipocrisie, from Old French, from Late Latin hypocrisis, play-acting, pretense, from Greek hupokrisis, from hupokrīnesthai, to play a part, pretend, hupo-, hypo-, + krīnesthai, to explain middle voice of krīnein, to decide, judge.]

(noun: pl., -sies.)

1. The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; falseness.
2. An act or instance of such falseness.

Sounds pretty muddled, yet we live it every day. How do I define hypocrisy today? Let me tell you. WW  and dietitians tells us we should eat multiple small meals throughout the day, so our metabolism stays ramped up, and we don’t store calories and turn them into ugly yellow fat cells (yes, I have seen it, our meeting leader once brought a one pound chunk of fat cells to a meeting!). What they don’t take into account is that while many of us have regular nine to five jobs, or shifts, sometimes, things get thrown out of whack.

Take my last 48 hours for example. I arrived in Orlando after traveling 8 hours on Sunday night, around 11 PM. By the time I got to bed it was 1 AM Monday. Up again at 8, to be at a client at 9. The hotel breakfast was already packed down, so out the door on an empty stomach. So far, not bad, right? Well, now it gets fun. After lunch, back to the hotel to get some rest before coming back at midnight to do a software upgrade. Sounds easy, as long as your body cooperates. I never got my brain to shut down, so no nap. After a quick dinner, off to work. Around 8:30 Tuesday morning I left the client site, get back to the hotel..yup, you guessed it, breakfast has already been cleaned up. Too damn tired to ask for anything, I stumble into bed. At 10:30 my phone rings, one of my coworkers calling from AZ, who, in a startled voice asked “Did I wake you?” when I mumbled “hello” into the phone. Back to sleep, till 2:30, then back to the client, still no food. Anyone see something amiss here? Left there again at 5 or so, when it was clear that all was well, the new software version was running well.

So, you may be wondering, where is the hypocrisy in this? Well, here it comes, get ready! After starting this blog yesterday, and going on and on about doing the right thing, eating better, etc, I stopped at Long Horn for a steak on the way home. Not just a steak though, a big, honkin, huge 22 oz. porterhouse steak, still mooing. Add to that a loaded baked potato, and a side salad (got to get my veggies in), a loaf of bread, and a basket of chips cooked in oil, and I was in glutenous heaven. FOOOOOOOOD!!! I feel alive again, like a real person, never mind that my body is completely out of whack. I even took the leftover bread and chips back to the hotel, so I could finish them up, and not feed some kid in Africa with my left overs.

How’s that for being hypocritical? Well, there it is, my confession for the day.

Oh, i have to admit, that after I ate two more slices of bread, my finally engaged, and I closed the to-go box up, and threw it all in the trash. go me.

Well, here I am, in the blog-o-sphere. Why am I here? I guess because everyone else is as well. Well, no, that’s not true, I know at least one person who isn’t. Anyway, why the blog?

It’s a long story, but here’s the short version. My pants are a bit snug! I lost over eighty pounds before I got married. To put that into perspective, go to PetSmart and pick up two forty  pound bags of food or litter. All of those little fat cells! In the five and a half years since then, I put sixty-five of that back on. A little here, a little there. What’s the reason? Oh, there are many: my work schedule; all the traveling I do for work; it’s too damn hot in the summer to go out and do anything (yes, I know, I made the choice to move to Phoenix); and lots of other things. But what does it really all biol down too? I’ve been lazy, and made poor choices when I eat.

So, this past week, after a trip to see a client that resulted in me having to drive half an hour to buy a new pair of pants when I split the seat in my pants I was putting on, I realized something has to change. I can’t keep going this way. So, now I am back at it, since Tuesday, August 17th. It’s a good day, my brothers birthday, and one whole year since he’s been cancer free. If he can make the changes in his life that he has, I sure as hell can loose some weight. I love ya bro, and you inspire me.

When I met my wife, and we were still dating, my diet consisted of McDonald’s. That’s about it. Two double quarter-pounders with cheese, two supersize fries, and a diet coke. Yes, I see the hypocrisy, you don’t need to point it out. She talked me into joining Weight Watchers. She said she liked me, and wanted me to stick around for a while (meaning of course, get a little healthier). They teach you a lot at Weight Watchers, but I think the most important thing I learned is: One Pound at a Time, hence the name of my blog.

It’s been over six years now since I stepped into a McDonald’s. I am sure they don’t miss me anymore, the guy at the drive through window got to know me pretty good. Like I said, I lost over eighty pounds, and I felt good. I even bought a pair of pants at Target! That was a great feeling, this was right before our wedding, and I was feeling great. I did wear those pants for a bit, but I have since outgrown them again.

Shopping at a big and tall store is expensive! Two pair of boxer shorts can run twenty-five dollars. That starts adding up. Everything is priced at a premium, because, guess what, they have a captive audience! My goal is to be able to shop at Target, or Costco, or where ever the hell I want to, not just in a small selection of stores. My wife is going to laugh when she reads that, cause she knows how much I HATE to shop for clothes for myself.

So now I find myself at my new starting weight: 365 pounds, one for each day of the year. How much do I want to lose? I don’t know yet, enough to where I feel good, and my various doctors are happy with me. I am pre-diabetic and my blood pressure is up. For each ten pounds I loose, my life expectancy goes up some X number of years. And this is why I am doing this blog. I know that the more support I have, the better I do, so I am counting on all of you, to help me through the difficult times, and cheer with me the dropped pounds. Stay tuned!